A Much Better Week!

This week has been rolling out so much better than the last.

I've been feeling great for starters. And feeling in tip top shape usually means I get a whole lot more done, which I have. Looking back on it, I can't believe how horrid I was feeling only just last Thursday. Now I don't have any headaches or neck and shoulder pain.

Well, just a bit of shoulder pain, but I've been trying to stretch for that.

Slowly, but surely I've been attempting to build some sort of routine for myself. I feel if I can start my day off right and end it on a light and happy note then odds are I'll feel pretty good the next day. The key to success here is discipline. I need to remain diligent to any rules I lay down for myself, such as going to bed at ten at night.

I'm just not a night owl. Never have been and I doubt I ever will be.

But I'm really pleased to see this week and my health hitting such a high note.

I'd like to start documenting the highs and lows actually, to see if perhaps there is some sort of correlation. And I'd bet there was somehow, if only in the levels of stress I endure and the types of foods I eat.

That's it for tonight I think. See you all later!~

Bleh Weekend

This weekend was pretty bleh for me and I remained in bed for most of it. Thank goodness I was so productive on Friday, my body just gave out Saturday and Sunday. I need to change so many things about my life because the lousy immune system that I have is ridiculous for someone my age.

I guess it comes with the turf of having such a stressful life, but the people in it aren't going away and neither am I so I have to find some way to help myself stay healthy.

I can't say that I don't count myself lucky though. I've had some wonderful times in my near twenty-five years. I've gone places I never thought I'd possibly go. Met those who have contributed to my inspiration in ways I had never thought of.

When I feel so bleh and so sickly I always get down on myself and that isn't good for me. I end up thinking that I need to be more productive, happier and that I need to work harder than ever toward my goals. I'm too sensitive about things, too easily swayed by external forces. I think I do far too much inflection, but it's what I'm good at.

I know everyone has a moment where they doubt themselves, but the important thing is that they keep moving forward regardless.

I just want to make sure I'm moving toward the right things.

There's no time for regrets or second guesses anymore.

Cleaning Helps

I've noticed, as many people around me have, that I clean when I'm upset.

And for the most part I believe this to be true. I've been feeling a little down these past couple of days and had another bad headache today. So when I finally got some down time what did I do?

I cleaned.

I vacuumed the bedroom and picked everything off the floor so I could get even the tiniest little places. Then I branched outward and worked on the livingroom. Up, up, up went the chairs and mats, the boxes and clutter. Off the floor so that I may have a clear shot for my cleaning spree.

And yet that wasn't enough for lil ol' me.

I went after the filtration system next that's connected to the house. I wanted to see how dirty the ventilation was because...honestly? I vacuum the bedroom at least two to three times a week. And every time I do I get out a huge bag full of dust and cat hair out of the vacuum. I clean my vacuum every time I use it, you see. To keep track of exactly how much dust is coming through my fortress.

Crazy, I know.

Anyways...

I got down on my hands and knees and stuck my head in through the vent and... I couldn't find the filter.

BECAUSE IT WAS COVERED IN THREE INCHES OF DUST AND BOB KNOWS WHAT!

I drug that thing out and gave it a thorough vacuuming. Just until I can get it a brand new filter.

It was just good to know that all that dust and stuff coming into my room wasn't being tracked in by myself and Jaku. It's only us after all and we don't have a lot of foot traffic coming in or out. And because my dear roomies have three cats and one that goes inside and outside frequently I could see how the rest of the house could cause that kinda of dirt.

So now that I've finished vacuuming the house, under the tables and sofa. Cleaned the ventilation, took out the trash and...oh, I need to sift the litter box too...

I feel loads better.

Cleaning is almost a meditation for me. It allows me to work at something where I can see automatic results because of my hard work. It's my own form of self-gratification that some people get from playing sports or overeating. I don't like doing either...although I have been known to engage in the latter.

Cleaning helps keep me focused and happy. And I'm no super hero at it, but I do take pride in my work.

And now that I'm done I feel very much relaxed and sleepy.

I think it's about time I head to bed. Night all!

Photo Friday - Copper!

Tough Times, Tough Cookie

Life has a way of testing us.

Testing our limits, our exposure to this earth.

It wants to see if we have what it takes to succeed. To endure.

It wants to know if, with a little pressure, we'll crumble to pieces.


No one ever said life would be easy and though at times it can be it won't last.

This is a solid lesson I have learned. Nothing lasts. Nothing is ever permanent.

And that means that the tough times are never permanent either. In some way and some form they will also give, relenting to better moments for us to enjoy... However brief they may be.


Right now life is testing me.

Currently I hold around ten dollars to my name.

Not nearly enough to pay the bill that was due yesterday. Still unpaid today.

This is new territory for me. Ever since I joined the work force in high school I've always been able to pay my bills and pay them on time. This time things are a little different and I face a new world of choices. These bills are coming in and I have no money to pay them.

Yet.

Because I believe in myself and my actions I know I will be bringing in money soon.

I won't panic, I won't fret. I will take life as it comes at me and accept that because of the decisions I have made I'm definitely taking the path less traveled.

The question here is:

Will I make it?

Or will I crumble against life's pressures?

I'm not the toughest cookie, but I'd like to say that I'm pretty tough.

And I know I'm going to be just fine.

Photo Friday! - Shadow Self